In our lives there are few moments that force us to reevaluate the way we approach our core beliefs. Whether we can actually control what we believe or not is in question. I tend to think that we don’t actually control what we believe so much as we control what we do with our beliefs.
The average person either doesn’t challenge their own beliefs, or they don’t see a reason to challenge their beliefs. Many can go their entire lives without seeing this as a necessity. For some we get into a situation where something we see, read, or experience can cause a moment of self-reflection.
If confronted with this situation some people can find themselves not trusting their own mind. I know that for me it was very disturbing. I still find myself embarrassed at the way I saw the world. Many of the things I thought were true, were completely false.
I believed in all sorts of conspiracy theories, magic and above all God. As I came into adulthood I was slowly letting go of the specific gods of scripture, and fell into a pseudo deism. It was closer to pantheism. I believed that all of the god claims were true,but just misunderstood by the rest of the world.
I believed that God was an emergent phenomena of the collective consciousness of the entire world. I was so completely convinced I had this right,and the rest of the world held onto scripture because they were unable to think properly. This to has slowly faded to where now I look back and laugh at how wrong I was. I had just became very astute at leading the evidence to my conclusion.
The excerpt from the Pantheistic confusion page in my journals, is a particular time in my life when I was questioning and trying to find a rationalization for the Arumentum ad Populum falacy.
I had truly believed that since so many people believed in some kind of god that one had to exist. So I actually began making up my own.